Lindsey has called a few times in the last couple of weeks. Mostly to say hi and perhaps worm a little money out of me. The most I have done is meet her at McDonalds and buy her a burger or something. She is selling corn out of a pick up truck with a friend at random places. Well, she calls her a friend - I don't as a parent.
Lindsey is still not taking care of herself. She keeps saying she will never be happy so why bother to try. That is just so sad.
Lots of little things make me think of her in so many happy ways. Someday. . . . right?
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Latest, and I would love to say Greatest. . .
We are leaving on a family weekend over at the Dells this evening. It's been a rough week. My biological grandfather passed away Sunday evening, and Matt's amazing grandpa passed away this afternoon. Things always comes in three, I fear for her today.
We offered for her to come along, but she won't come unless she can bring her boyfriend - I don't even know this person.
Last night she needed money, and she admitted it was a drug debt. She told me she would be in trouble if she didn't give them money. As hard as it was, I had to say no. It is time to 100% stop enabling her.
Last week I received a random text from someone from her past. It said if I care at all about my daughter I would get her some help. She is doing more than she was before. They also asked if I was watching over her and setting rules.
I had to let this person know that Lindsey is 18 now, and I am beyond helping someone who does not want help in the least bit.
She stops over now and then, tells me to fuck off or go to hell, grabs some clothes and leaves. We have been locking our door and hiding any money - do you know how that feels to wonder what your child could do to hurt you? Sometimes I lay in bed and wonder if she would go as far as hurting us while we sleep. Awful to have to wonder this. I look at my sweet, innocent Haley and William - what could she or would she do to them in a drug-induced state of mind? It is horrible having to wonder these things.
She has been telling people that we no longer care about her and have abandoned her. That is so not the case, and she just doesn't understand that. I told her again last night that when she decides to live life like an adult and make adult decisions and move forward, I will open my front door wide open for her. Until then, I just will not enable her. She doesn't understand at all.
Then at 2 a.m. this morning, I received a text "good night mom, love you," talk about sticking a knife in my heart and twisting it around and around and around. Are these drugs talking or has my daughter briefly appeared???
Only time will tell. But, I know in my heart, that my little baby will appear some day again and everything will be okay.
I am attaching my favorite scene from the latest Rocky movie - his inspirational talk to his son. It reminds me of what I could say to Lindsey if she would only listen.
I am posting a link to my favorite inspirational lecture - although it's from a father to a son - it's pretty powerful and very simply put.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z5OookwOoY&feature=PlayList&p=BFCAC95E72E9D05C&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=21
We offered for her to come along, but she won't come unless she can bring her boyfriend - I don't even know this person.
Last night she needed money, and she admitted it was a drug debt. She told me she would be in trouble if she didn't give them money. As hard as it was, I had to say no. It is time to 100% stop enabling her.
Last week I received a random text from someone from her past. It said if I care at all about my daughter I would get her some help. She is doing more than she was before. They also asked if I was watching over her and setting rules.
I had to let this person know that Lindsey is 18 now, and I am beyond helping someone who does not want help in the least bit.
She stops over now and then, tells me to fuck off or go to hell, grabs some clothes and leaves. We have been locking our door and hiding any money - do you know how that feels to wonder what your child could do to hurt you? Sometimes I lay in bed and wonder if she would go as far as hurting us while we sleep. Awful to have to wonder this. I look at my sweet, innocent Haley and William - what could she or would she do to them in a drug-induced state of mind? It is horrible having to wonder these things.
She has been telling people that we no longer care about her and have abandoned her. That is so not the case, and she just doesn't understand that. I told her again last night that when she decides to live life like an adult and make adult decisions and move forward, I will open my front door wide open for her. Until then, I just will not enable her. She doesn't understand at all.
Then at 2 a.m. this morning, I received a text "good night mom, love you," talk about sticking a knife in my heart and twisting it around and around and around. Are these drugs talking or has my daughter briefly appeared???
Only time will tell. But, I know in my heart, that my little baby will appear some day again and everything will be okay.
I am attaching my favorite scene from the latest Rocky movie - his inspirational talk to his son. It reminds me of what I could say to Lindsey if she would only listen.
I am posting a link to my favorite inspirational lecture - although it's from a father to a son - it's pretty powerful and very simply put.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z5OookwOoY&feature=PlayList&p=BFCAC95E72E9D05C&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=21
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)