Thursday, March 5, 2009

Thursday's Conversation

I got a call this morning at 7:15, and Lindsey said, "hi." I said hello back. She said she didn't know how to start the conversation and please don't be mad. She then explained she was up all night with a stomach ache, quickly to add she didn't go out or do anything wrong, and would i call her in to school.

I told her she chose to leave my home, therefore I would not be calling her in sick. She said Scott would bring her over to my house for the day. I am not sure what she thought that would accomplish, but maybe she wanted her bed to be in, I don't know. But again, i told her no, she chose to leave and that's that.

So, I gave her the phone number to school and told her I hoped she felt better and hung up.

But, the emotional side of me is ripped again - I feel like I abandoned her in a time of need. But, was she playing me like so many times before. Will there ever be a time when I will know a difference? Will Lindsey ever be sincere enough that I won't doubt her?

And, i have to keep telling myself that she is young, and we have so many years ahead of us. But, it's hard to look beyond what is face value right now - I just keep feeling like we are at the end of the line. Not sure it makes sense.

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