Thursday, June 4, 2009

It's been awhile . . .

Well, here we are again. Something must have happened for me to log on and write.

Lindsey has relapsed, although not nearly as severe as where she was before, but nonetheless, she relapsed. She has this incredible fear of being alone and friendless. So, she clings to these bad friends she has and doesn’t try to make new ones. Her self-confidence is so darn low, it is unbelievable. Ultimately, she is also very dependent on males. So, when she has a boyfriend, she is crazy “in love.” To the point that if he breaks up with her, she almost gets rather stalkerish. Anyway, he current male friend, whom is just bad, bad news, broke up with her and she took a lot of sleeping pills. So, by Monday night at midnight, she admitted she needed help again, and I spent the night in the ER with her. Twice during her stay, she stopped breathing. And, her heart was so off that they were doing ECGs on her, etc. But, by about 5 am, we had her stabilized and able to talk. She agreed to go back into Generose, which is the Psych Ward.

She doesn’t take care of herself AT ALL. She is so sick with pneumonia but won’t take her antibiotics, she has depression but won’t take her medication, etc. So, her being in the hospital is a good place for her to be. She will be there until Tuesday.

Last night I had the best conversation with her that we have had in two years. She finally admitted she was hanging around bad people, and self medicating when she felt down. I have always thought she would never recover or even begin a road to recovery unless she left Rochester.

Finally, she has agreed. So, I have been talking to Kendra and I think Kansas may be the best bet for a fresh start. Kendra said she is willing. Lindsey doesn’t need a parent right now, she needs someone who will guide her in getting a job, making some new friends, developing a hobby, helping her relax and remain positive. We talked a little bit about her being down there a year and maybe getting residency in Kansas and enrolling in KU. That is aways away, but she needs to think about the future. She isn’t a little kid in high school anymore.

She can attend outpatient while down there as well as get a psychologist to follow her. But, like I said, her biggest fear is making new friends and not being alone. I wish I could wave a wand and make her happy, but she needs to help herself before it will get any better.

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